TUMBLRNG TUMBLWEEDS

Sometimes you have to pee on a Winnie the Pooh figure at the Disneyland Hotel in Anaheim while saying “This one’s for you, Walt.”

“ I had to dig a doodie bubble out of your butt.”

“Monica Lewinski Coat Rack”
(Click here for larger image version)

Dimensions: 18”x20”
$100 (Shipping included)
Medium: Acrylic & latex on wood (+ hooks).

Does your spouse have a job where they’ve recently hired a somewhat attractive unpaid intern and you feel slightly insecure about what might happen during late hours at the office? This Monica Lewinski Coat Rack is a really good way to send a subtle message that says, “I know you’re going to try to have sex with that new intern, but if you do I’ll impeach you with some divorce papers and then I’ll use all of your money to take a cruise to the Mexican Riviera where I’ll buy a bunch of Tylenol 3s from a desolate pharmacia and then meet a delightful new mate who I will French kiss until the cows come home while you’re stuck in a studio apartment watching episodes of Portlandia while eating a hummous plate.”

You can hang so many things on this coat rack! Not just coats! Hand a sweater! Bracelets! Other things! Brilliant! Way to go!

Don’t hesitate, this item is extremely limited in production.

http://www.derekerdman.com/2012/january_2012/CRAX/monica_lewinski_coat_rack.htm

“Keith Hernandez Coat Rack”
(Click here for larger image version)

Dimensions: 21”x27”
$100 (Shipping included)
Medium: Acrylic & latex on wood (+ hooks).

Tired of every day of your life melting into the next? Does existence feel like a really long crawling marathon of Portlandia episodes and homemade hummous plates? WELL FRET NO MORE. Start and end every day hanging your belonging on this cut-out Keith Hernandez bust and you’ll likely start to see things in a much different light. Did you know that Keith Hernandez sat out an entire year of high school baseball because of a dispute with his coach? Do you even know who that coach is? Of course you don’t, because Keith Hernandez is the king! In the 1980s, he did ALL OF THE COCAINE. Cocaine isn’t cool anymore, but it certainly was then! And he did all of it!

Just imagine all of the things that you can hang on this Keith Hernandez coat rack. Running shoes, keys, hats, fuzzy dice, RS-232 cables, ring pops, ETC. Start your day by taking your hat off of Keith Hernandez on your way to work. It’ll be his way of telling you, “GO OUT THERE AND GIVE ‘EM HELL!” End each day by giving Keith Hernandez your keys after you stumble into the house wasted on Icehouse. Even though you’ve already driven yourself home in a death defying depression blur, it’ll be like him saying, “Hey man, I got it from here. Get yourself some sleep and we’ll stomp all over the world’s face tomorrow!”

Don’t hesitate, this item is extremely limited in production.

http://www.derekerdman.com/2012/january_2012/CRAX/keith_hernandez_coat_rack.htm